I often find myself asking Ryan why people say such insensitive things. His usual response is, "Why do you let the negative comments bother you so much?" I suppose that's a valid response. I suppose I let it bother me because I would hope that I am incapable of such behavior, especially towards someone that I call a friend. But it is true, we hold onto negative words far longer than positive ones. They latch onto some part of us and hold on with dear life until we start believing them. We are already our own worst critics, sprinkle that with careless words spoken to you and well, your heart sinks into your stomach and you try everything you can to still believe the best in people. Someone once told me that I was too much of an open book, that I should think about closing a few chapters. I pondered for days on what this meant. Am I to only speak of the good things in my life and put out a view to every one around me that my world is perfect? That I know no sorrow or pain? If we don't feel sorrow or pain, then how does one truly know joy and happiness. There would be no good days if we didn't have bad days. I believe in honesty, if I want to cry, I'm going to cry. If I want to laugh, I'm going to laugh. We didn't create emotion, we don't make up all these feelings up as we go along, we were born with them. Hell - everyone was born crying, we sure the hell weren't born laughing. Now that's a thought to ponder on. Well, it is what it is, people are who they are - it isn't our job to change their view, it's only our job to show them a different view. And what better way to show them a different view than through love?